Interviewing a Feminist Man ENGLISH VERSION

I met Johans in tenth grade when he came as a new student to my school. He was only there for a year and then left to Texas. While he was in my school we did not talk much but we had a friendship since we had many friends in common. I remember that in Spanish class Johans was without a doubt one of the best students in that class. When I started my blog, Johans wrote me a message. He told me about how my perspective on the subject of feminism enchanted him and several other things that I am not going to tell him yet so that he himself can answer them during the course of the interview. After Johans answered me, I realized that there should be more men and youth with the mindset and perspective like Johans'. The future generation must be educated so that as young children they know how to cook, wash clothes and little by little they become independent so that the children do not get used to it, that women have to do things for them. I did this interview because I want to spread the knowledge that there are men who are feminists or at least with a similar mindset. Here are the answers to the series of questions I asked him in an essay form.

Hi! I am Johans Saldana and I am 17 years old, studying my twelfth grade at Alamo Heights High School in San Antonio, Texas. I am from Moyobamba, Peru, which is one of the first cities to be founded in the Amazon. I had a somewhat peculiar childhood at that time, because my mom separated from my dad when I was little. However, I never had a bad image of him, what's more, my mother was very supportive of my having good communication with him. I was raised and lived with my mom and babysitter until I was nine years old. Then my mom met my stepfather who contributed a lot to my growth with new ideologies that deeply complemented me.

As you said in your first article, feminism has been tainted by the different perspectives it contains, especially on the extremist side. I consider myself a feminist, but on the part that fights for equality and mutual respect. It is quite simple but many suffer in reaching a midpoint. I believe that with mutual respect we can overcome many barriers, but it is up to us and how we influence other people to do the same, and it all starts at home. But it is understandable that feminists are upset because there are different injustices that have been committed and continue to be committed against women and nothing is done about it. Which can lead to extreme feelings, such as hatred of men, which from my own experience, I say that it does exist, or at least most (since there are many like you who are giving a different perspective than what is painted feminism) but this is quite a complex and paradoxical issue. Well, my mom had a circle of friends who were and some are still extreme feminists who themselves hate men. But, I have to emphasize that they had an acceptable reason, most of the men are not what a woman deserves, many of them are not only unfair (which in itself is a tragedy) but they are also abusive and macho (factors that increase domestic violence and femicides). Even my mom, after separating from my dad, was not interested in looking for another partner, however I insisted that she do so and it was.

Men can also be feminists, as I have always said, the bigger the movement, the bigger the impact and therefore the change. I think that we men take an important part in this cause, because without our side, there would be no equality and mutual respect. Both parties are needed to reach the midpoint that is so much sought. Well, according to the dictionary of the Spanish Royal Academy, feminism is ¨the principle of equal rights for women and men.¨ However, as it is misunderstood, some extremist feminists imply that they fight for the recognition that women are better than boys. Now, as men, it is also important to recognize and explore the history of women so that we can understand and have sympathy, to have understanding and know how to value them, that they also have an enormous contribution to our society. 

One of the women that I admire the most and, ironically that helped me grow, is my mother, she had a very important part in my development, since I grew up with her. We have a lot of memories and memories, we have a super good relationship.In addition, I admire the goals she achieved for herself, as a woman, from a place that is not even recognized on the map. She has a story that inspires me to be better every day and that I actually plan to write it in the future.

I acknowledge that it is our duty as men not only to respect women but also to act when we hear or see something unfair. I have to admit that I was never a great advocate or communicator about my positions in conversations, therefore perhaps I would say something but not hard enough to stop him or sometimes he wouldn't say anything and just watch. It is something I keep working on in myself, in being stronger when I express my ideas and in acting before something. However, I would like to comment that I have been part of conversations with both girls and boys, and the truth is that they are quite different dynamics. While the boys talked more about the physical and sexual aspect, the girls talked about the above and also about the personal, and what's more, they were the strongest in judging, speaking behind the back, and denigrating a person in a much more deeper than boys. 

I believe that gender can be discussed separately from race, class, and other historical inequalities to a certain extent, as gender has had a consistent pattern throughout most of history with no difference in culture, social stratum, or even temporal space. For a Mesopotamian woman was not so different from a New England woman, they had certain freedoms but many more restrictions. However, throughout history, there have been certain flashes of light where women did the unimaginable in a world run by men, from Cleopatra and the Woman of Cao to Marie Curie and Ada Lovelace among many others. But the other part of this topic indicates that culture is quite important when discussing gender and the way in which it is done. As are also political systems, such as capitalism. However, I believe that instead of discussing political and economic models, the most important thing is the people who run it, the leaders. It is outrageous that when we have to elect a leader (whether presidential or governmental), we have to see who is the least bad (so to speak). Now, looking at it from a historical and partial point of view, the social movements are the ones that gave access to human rights both for women in 1920 in the United States and for other minorities. However, success was also found in socialist governments. In the end, capitalism or socialism can be good or bad for feminism depending on the people who run it. Which is quite difficult. Feminism can be a good complement to our society, what matters is how it is implemented. 

To change this abuse, this misogyny (in different ways), I think that as a man, who also knows perpetrators, everything starts at home. The relationship between parents and what they teach us. The responsibility falls on both men and women, mom and dad. We realize what happens. Some know that their father cheats on their mother and that their mother knows it but that they are still together, so it is interpreted as something normal, something that can be repeated for generations. The same with both physical and psychological violence. The woman has the power to stop him, but what happens is that outside opinion matters a lot and that stops them. Then, if they manage to separate and become single mothers, something natural happens that also happened to my mom and my mom's friends. It happens that mothers have a strong connection with their children and spoil them, they give them everything they ask for, they do everything to them, and this teaches the child that his mother is made to do everything to him, and when it doesn't happen, nothing else does your tantrum and it clears up. This behavior evolves and the same thing happens when the baby is now a man who is not looking for a partner, but for a second mother to do everything to him, and not only that, but he also has to put up with his tantrums and well, now it is known how the story continues. It is a cycle, which can be broken by teaching us to be independent, both men and women, and to love ourselves, that when we see a lack of respect, an offense, we say something about it and react, that we know how to defend ourselves or simply know what that we are worth and that what other people tell us does not matter to us and we continue with our life. Education is also an essential part of this topic.

Personally I think that our voice, the voice of men is quite important when a feminist debate comes, because they can be the variable that makes other people join the change, especially other men as I indicated previously. We can give other points of view and broaden the meaning of what it means to be a feminist.